Bexin Hemophin

At long last, a new blog post. Sorry to all you haters who I have kept waiting for over a month, but I operate on my own schedule and I don't respond well to being rushed. You'll get the blog when I'm good and ready to write it and not a moment sooner.

That said, there's a lot to catch up on. The main reason I have not written in so long is that I have been working desperately to find a real job. One day, I woke up and thought I am waiting tables at a 2 1/2 star restaurant and I'm 24 with a college degree. So, I decided to pick myself up, stop wiling away my free hours blogging and such, and get a job. And I did.

You are looking at (well, not so much looking at as reading the thoughts of) the new Docketing Clerk for a big, powerful and very important intellectual property law firm in D.C. (to which I will refer to as ip). So how d'ya like them apples, bitches? Maybe I should get some property rights to this blog. Copyright the shit out of my intellectual property.

I digress...the interviewing process...and the road I traveled to get a job and quit the god awful restaurant that I worked at.

Ok, so stage 1 of finding a job: picking and choosing fairy tale jobs at magazines and TV stations and publications that sound really interesting to me and I would really do well at. This stage takes its course the first couple weeks of looking for a job. Thoughts included in application process: "ooh that sounds fun and interesting...I would really rock that job....I wouldn't mind doing that all day...if I got that job I could really improve and move up in the company...oh shit if I got that job everyone would be jealous of me and think that I have a really cool job..." and various other things of that nature.

Strike 1. Yeah right you're not gonna get any of those jobs. This isn't neverland or a low budget Kate Hudson movie or whatever. You probably won't get call backs or even a courtesy email out of any of these places so get your head out of the clouds and start exploring other options

Stage 2 of finding a job: opening yourself up to things you may not have thought about or are particularly interested in. At this point, I started getting interviews, which was great, except for the fact that I don't make the best first impression. I try my darndest, don't get me wrong, but I usually say or do something to put them off by the end of the interview. I've been told that my voice is "monotoned and sadistic" and my personality "daria-esque" so you can imagine how that usually goes over in an interview. Although occasionally I find someone who seems to follow my step, even through my awkward blunders and rambling narcissism. At this point, I really get freaked out, as the person will soon realize that I am interviewing for a job that I don't want and will likely discover my thinly-veiled disdain.

Thus, the tension between interviewer and interviewee rises. Questioning and rambling persists on both sides, because given the right triggers, I can talk all day. There are always more questions to be asked and more holes to fill with my always sharp and occasionally appropriate wit. Hopefully, interviewer can look past the disdain and see that interviewee is, in fact, shrewd and could do the job better than most if given the chance.

Strike 2. You're not going to get any of those jobs either. Even the ones where you thought the hiring person loved you...you got a second interview, everything was going well, things were looking up. Nope, no job