Vacation mode: Part 1

So I had some time off work for "vacation" if that's the right word, I don't know. I said I would give a full account, but it's kind of just a blur now so I'll give some highlights.


I left with Cuz and Sis to go up there on Sunday night [oh yeah and here's a little bit about her...


Cuz- lives in Akron, Ohio (currently leading in the race for crappiest U.S. city), but loves it. Why is it that people who live in crappy cities always swear by how amazing they are? Anyway, we've always been close, despite never having lived in the same place. Constant onslaught of corny, horrendous jokes that get worse in delivery each time I see her. Three sports obsessed brothers, a sports maniac Dad and a crazy, Catholic mom.]

Day 1: Rainy. Went to see Hairspray (Zac Effron lookin' good, ladies). Slaughtered Cuz in air hockey (I challenge anyone who wants to play me). There was a table at the theatre so that's where we played. Some creepy old guy was standing next to the table watching the whole game. The theatre was packed with kids, it made me nautious. It was a rainy day during one of the busiest vacation weeks of the summer so I should have known we were going into the eye of the storm to go see Hairspray. But seriously, when a million brats come together at a movie theatre at the beach, the result is an intolerable brain hammering of noise, trash, toys and mess. A wierd smell clogs up your nasal passages also, until you're so desperate for fresh air, you can barely even pay attention to the movie anymore.

Day 2: Sunny and hot. Blondie arrives. We all get a little burned. Sis looks like a tomato by the end of the day. We go to the Starboard in Dewey later on that night.

Aaah, Dewey Beach. What a show. It's kinda trashy. It's nightlife attracts the old and the young. My fave spot is the Starboard. They have beer pong tables set up to use. We always play and there are always wierd, oblivious people who come up to us asking what the game is. It always stuns me when someone doesn't know what beer pong is. I mean, what have these people been living in caves? I guess rural Delaware is more or less the same thing. Nonetheless, they're only missing out on the most innovative, forward-looking, tour-de-force of drinking techology produced in the last century. Ok, now I'm just rambling.

Ok, back on track. The Starboard. Always a shitshow. People probably 16-60 getting hammered and acting afool. Inhibitions checked at the door. It's the Starboard...anything goes!

So, of course, I get drunk. Blondie gets drunk. Cuz Gets drunk. Sis gets tanked, starts spitting out the racial slurs. We start talking to some douchebag guys. It's amazing how low your standards get when you're on vacation mode. Cuz attracted some crazy ghetto guy in a gold Tu Pac t-shirt when we were outside.

So, then we go home and of course the rents have locked us out. We spend about a half an hour calling cell phones and banging on doors and windows, but since everyone in my family sleeps like death, we weren't having much success in waking anybody up. Blondie layed down on the patio all "I guess we're just gonna have to sleep out here." Finally my brother, who was sleeping on the couch a foot away from the door (and all the banging) woke up and let us in.

Ok, anyway, that's gonna do it for now. I've been at Big Bear for the past two hours and this airy-voiced woman sitting with her computer at the table next to me keeps saying inane things and harping on me to get the apple danish. She just jumped up like a lunatic trying to swat at a flying ant. It landed on my table and she tried to kill it with her newspaper, nearly spilling my macchiato. When I told her not to worry about it, she just started laughing and moved to the other side of her table. Great, now she's facing me. And they just put, like a six foot long table in the middle of Big Bear, which changes the whole dynamic. I feel like up is down and black is white. Anyway, I gotta get out of here. Oh yeah, and I'm going to see Labyrinth at E street later...that's gonna be sweet! More about vacation next post.